You Were All I Had
by Rukia-K1
Summary: "So I let myself slip..."It hurt, it hurt to know that his friend thought "he" was a freak… He never told him, he never could tell him. Just smile and bare with it. That was what he told himself… But he couldn't take it for much longer, before he broke. Before he had to run away…and pray no one found him ever again. "Just smile..." Attempted suicide.


A/n: I don't know why, but I was in the mood to make this oneshot… T-T…I dunno why I am sad….oh well…feels into this…

Also constantly switches from Dick's point of view to third person.

* * *

**_You Were All I Had_**

**_So I let myself slip..._**

_It hurt, it hurt to know that his friend thought "he" was a freak… He never told him, he never could tell him. Just smile and bare with it. That was what he told himself… But he couldn't take it for much longer, before he broke. Before he had to run away…and pray no one found him ever again._

* * *

"Hey Rob…" His voice trailed off as he saw something behind me and he frowned, muttering something that I heard. I glanced behind me and saw what he was looking at and just sighed. I didn't try to argue with what he said, it was pointless, I had learned that. But his words didn't just make an argument; they cut a knife through my skin.

Literally.

My best friend didn't know of the markings I made on my body, trying to accept the things around me and not have to deal with the pain around me.

And no one saw.

I liked to keep it that way.

"Hey, Rob you alright there?" I snap out of my thoughts and smiled at him softly, trying to reassure him.

"Just astrous." I shrugged and he rolled his eyes at the word. I didn't even feel it the playfulness he showed. My body was numb with hurt by now. The words I said were just to make sure that no one worried about me…but I no longer felt like I should even use them. I should just disappear like they should. That was how I felt…

He tackles me and tickles me to get me to smile and I can't help but show a small flinch and he instantly stops. "Rob…what's wrong? You've never hurt when I did this…even when you had a broken arm!" He exclaimed. I just smiled as I saw Artemis behind him, sighing.

"Baywatch you probably hit him too hard." She responded and he smiled, getting up and kissing her cheek.

Pain filled my body before going numb again. "Right sweetie." He chuckled and smiled at her. She smiled back and I almost felt sick.

"…Rob…where you going?" I didn't know, and at the moment I didn't care. I just needed to get out of here…. I didn't respond, if anything, I ran away.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

* * *

_"ROBIN!"_

I shook, scared, upset…angry almost. I had failed something that Batman had trusted me to do, and now he was mad at me. I didn't blame him no, but it hurt. It hurt to have him yell at me and tell me I was getting to the point I could no longer be the Boy Wonder…no longer be his partner. Do you know how much that hurts? No one does…because it makes me feel like…I'm not his son anymore. And that hurts.

So much.

_Just grab the knife, and cut a little bit more…make the pain go away…_

_It would make everything so much better._

_And he grabbed the knife and dug it into the skin on his chest, letting all of the pain fall away to the darkness._

_It felt so much better._

_Just so much better._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

* * *

I never told Wally how I felt about him, I couldn't tell him. In fact, I think I was scared to tell him about it, about anything. Wally didn't...like...well..."my type" of people, which is...well...it's... I don't know, but he doesn't like them.

So I keep it to myself and just smile at him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wally wasn't talking to me...he finally found out "what" I was, and he wasn't talking to me. I didn't blame him...none of the team was talking to me, and Zatanna was calling me the meanest things. But I just delt with it and let them yell, scream, or push me away.

I had no other choice.

This was the only home I had left.

It was either I was staying here or I was giving up being Robin...

But maybe that wouldn't be so bad...

Because then I would never have to see them again...

But school was maybe worse.

No.

It was worse.

People bullied me to the point I cried so badly I couldn't breath anymore.

To the point I was cutting my skin at school and hiding in a corner for the whole day.

_Bruce had no idea, and he liked to keep it that way._

_He and Bruce were unsteady enough as it was at the moment._

_He just had to keep up being the boy that they all knew._

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

* * *

He cut deeper tonight, making the cut last, and making the long pain leave him. He cut so deep he felt the bone, but all he could do was laugh a bit to himself and look at the blood...smiling.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

* * *

It was like a cry for help, he was showing the signs but no one was listening to him. So he gave up, he just let them see the scars, and they would help if they want. He didn't care anymore. The scars littered his whole body by now, and he couldn't hide them anymore. He didn't bother.

Yet still...no one stopped to help him.

And all he could do was smile and wait.

* * *

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

* * *

It was getting to be too much, he just couldn't take it anymore.

Tonight he was just going to end it...

It was to that point.

He couldn't run away...

But he couldn't stay.

He looked at the knife in his hands and tilted his head, giving a bitter laugh as he glanced at the notes that lay on the nightstand. They would probably just be thrown out...but he made them anyways.

He glanced away and put the knife to his throat, tears slipping from his eyes. _"But no one cares..."_ And the knife went through.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

* * *

_You were all that I had._

Wally stared at his best friend in the hospital bed, his best friend that he pushed to this brink. Pushed to the point he was going to kill himself.

He almost did.

He almost killed himself.

If only he had seen it sooner.

If he had been there a second before...

His best friend might wake up sometime soon.

But he didn't notice anything until he finally saw something.

He saw that there was a knife missing...the scars clicking in his mind.

...

He had finally understood what happened to his best friend...only a little to late.

Why did he have to do this to his friend? He cared for him...

Maybe...he loved him too...

But he might never know.

Because his best friend might never wake up.

And he was the only one to blame.

Not Dick.

Wally.


End file.
